Gearing up for a very merry and lovely Christmas. Photo courtesy of daddy dearest.
I finally decided what I wanted to sew for Nili.
It has been 3 months and for a while I couldn’t sew anything because I was stuck thinking of what to sew for Nili after he left us. I wanted something that, like him, was silent and sweet. So I picked a colour that was soothing, and the thread to embroider on to be almost similar to the cloth so that the words do not stand out too much. Except for the heart, because we miss him so.
Now all is left is for me to pick a good picture. It took a whole day of faulty internet in the office to get me sewing again. Hopefully this will put me back on track. Next up, a bag for Ponton’s thingamabob.
Like a newbie, I want to carry around so many things when I bring him out – his pee pads, his chew toys, some wet tissues… Well the last time we brought him out with all those stuff was to my in-laws’ for a few hours so I think it was called for.
But don’t think for a second that I am going to carry that huge soft toy around for him to play with! There isn’t a reasonable carry-on bag big enough and I already have my hands full with this mischievous little fellow.
I have been absent for more than a week, and will be next week too. Sometimes, the ink runs dry and the thread runs thin. Not of ideas, but it simply just does.
So I did what any normal person would do to cure this sudden lack of motivation. I went out and got a puppy, bought all the barang barang for our new little addition to the family, and created a whole new pool of worries for myself.
I’m not complaining. So far the little active fella has gotten me less than 5 hours of sleep at night, used up 2 rolls of paper towel, and in a moment of excitement, bitten my mom on her foot.
With Nili is warm in our hearts – and I know that a dog is a big step from a rabbit – I’m hoping I don’t mess up being a good care taker of this puppy Sheltie.
Speaking of paternal love and dogs, here‘s one article that will make anyone with a heart tear.
Went out to water the plants for my dad today and saw this little rainbow wings taking a rest on a leaf. I am terrified of insects, but some of them are fascinating. That doesn’t mean I will invite them in and have a cup of tea with them.
Would love to share with you what I’ve been up to all day. But other than the usual – eating pancakes, watching TV, being told that I put on weight – there really isn’t much interesting things to share.
People like to tell me things they find are crucial to point out, even though I most likely already know them. I don’t like to give them the satisfaction of having that conversation. (You’d think that’d be motivation enough for me to exercise and watch my diet. Mostly I just curl up in bed and cry like a spoilt child.)
So I ignore them by adding them to my “you are dead to me” list.
Ok, so that isn’t very healthy. Maybe I will actually drag myself to go for a jog tomorrow. I should really get over my social phobia.
Apart from being called an auntie, there isn’t much things to complain about. (There’s another testimony to attest to my lack of fashion sense.)
This weekend was another weekend to catch up with friends and contemplate on relationships formed in my life.
Somehow, catching up with friends always equate to sugary delights that leave me with a sense of guilt and pleasure. Although, I seem to be the only one becoming progressively bad looking, while my friends seem healthier and slimmer. This is of course no fault of mine but the absolute fault of the Phish Food ice cream and tasty Korean potato chips Laogong have been feeding me the past 2 weeks.
Oh, and the swimming pool being under repair.
In the city world I live in, it is sometimes easy to get our priorities wrong. Sometimes life happens and we forget the important things we should keep close to our hearts, making us sacrifice time and people we shouldn’t sacrifice.
Sometimes, we forget that the best thing we can do is to simply be a presence in one’s life.
When did just being around lose its importance? When did just being around become so hard?
In case you’re wondering, Ollie is the name of Ricky Gervais’s cat. The one in the picture above is obviously not his cat. But someone left some food for this stray by the steps where I was waiting for the bus tonight. In less than minute she finished her food and proceeded to show me her adorable back silhouette.
Something about a cat being fed by a stranger that changes the mood of that night for me.
It is that time of the year again. Your hair needs a trim but you’re too lazy to make an appointment. The weather is humid and stuffy and doesn’t even have the decency to rain a little. You’re too sleepy at work but too awake at bed time. Things and people invading your dreams are so much better than the ones you bump into in real life, you wish you could sleep all day.
When I start to quote Jason Mraz, especially this song in particular, I find it a good time to count my blessings. The other option is let the flood gates open and drown myself in memories of things that only the trees remember and the ax forgets.
Funnily enough, I’d still rather be a tree than an ax.
A mutual friend of Laogong and mine recently went to Bangkok with his girlfriend and came back with this.
It seems that Bangkok was all out of “My friend went to Bangkok and all he got me was this lousy shirt” shirts and so he had to settle for this more than adorable cartoon shirt. Am I that easy to read? He even got Laogong a matching Stitch one.
There are many more things count but than I’d just be showing off. To be honest, right now all I want to do is curl up under my blanket and take a nap. But the needle and thread are calling. The reason I haven’t posted up what I’m busy with is simply because I can’t. But I’ll definitely share it with you next week.
Until then, this tree is going to heal some wounds and grow some branches.
These past few days were spent making things for people in my life.
Amango’s (yes, that is not her real name) birthday was a while back but we have not had the chance to meet up. Her present has been sitting in the Japanese Origami paper long enough. Since I managed to get it to her boyfriend to pass it to her, I guess it’s safe to post it up here.
Amantha’s fashion is a little homely with a tinge of vintage. So I thought I’d make something that has that feel – at least to me. The lace reminds me of that old table cloths people used to have at home and the peach-pink linen brings a little old-fashion mood. But what I like is the green beads, which add a little spunk to the bow. I hope this hair pin is not too embarrassing to wear in public. 🙂
An aunt of mine has just gotten home from the hospital. She is recovering from surgery and I thought I’d give her something to remind her she’s not alone. Now that she has my uncle and cousin with her, she is in good hands. But seeing that my uncle is always the one who buys fruits for us, a fruit basket would be a quite redundant get-well-soon gift.
I’m hoping words and embroidery will help sooth her soul. The fish and rain drops are embroidered with ribbons onto a thin see-through linen. It is then stuck onto the paper using melted glue from a glue gun.
It’s easy to blame something or someone else for your misfortunes, but it’s more interesting to look at things through the other end of the kaleidoscope. Aunt’s health has always had problems. For instance, she is slightly deaf on one ear. She could easily have had both her ears injured, but still, she can hear.
This time, she probably sustained her injury while skiing on the mountains 2 weeks ago. The injury is bad but could have been worse. Thankfully, she was given the chance to get better. The surgery was a success and her family was and still is with her every step of the way.
So I guess what I’m trying to say is that there are things to be grateful for, sometimes we just need a little reminder.
– Here’s a to good and speedy recovery. –
The long weekend was spent recovering from a fall I took while attempting to jog, putting back what little fats I lost in that tumble and catching up on my movies and TV shows.
While mom and dad were away, I got to cook again and it got me thinking of all the things I would do if I needn’t be in the office. Building castles in the clouds over weekends is one of my favourite pastimes.
Friday night dinner taught me how long it takes my mom’s oven to bake potatoes. The next time, I’ll put it in before I take my shower. Saturday breakfast greeted us with a cheeky spongebob and some baked beans, which laogong doesn’t eat. What new things will I learn of my husband, I wonder. The only thing missing in that breakfast was the sausages.
Inspiration can be found anywhere if you widen your search. This week’s postsecret caught my eye when I saw the secret above. Perhaps it is not possible to understand the magnitude of what needles and thread means to him/her. But it is nice to know someone else who finds them therapeutic.
Sewing can illustrate the world differently and bring out joy in people. And that is something I wish to share, or I hope I’m sharing now. 🙂
To keep myself busy, I decided to have some me-time and sew some skirts. Not able to take some good shots of it at the moment, but below is a peek at what I’ve been up to.
You won’t be disappointed to know that I have also been keeping to schedule and making vintage stuff for next season.
Here’s a little something I’ve been working on. I’m trying to experiment with different texture and materials – yarn, ribbons, types of cloth. When I have my complete set, I will share it with you peeps.
While mom was packing, I saw her new purple sweater and couldn’t resist making this brooch for her, which will go nicely with the studs above if she had any piercings. It took her until I was 14 before she let me have my ears pierced. Never regretted it since.
I have been having dreams of Nili – dreams of him sick, dreams of me not letting him go, dreams of him telling me to let him go. But I’m not complaining. In dreams, I feel as though I can be close to him again. I need to put myself back together again, just need to figure out where to start.
Firstly, let me apologize for my absence. There are times when words cannot express how I feel and this is one of them. Seldom do I find myself speechless and unwilling to speak of what is bothering me. Most of the time, the things I want to say crowd in my throat and are too much of a coward to find its way out.
But never have I ever found myself in a situation where I’d feel completely confident that I do not want to speak of this. Especially in an age where words are freely shortened and expressed over easily accessible devices and methods, it makes me treasure words ever so much more that whenever I write something on such devices and through such methods, I make sure they count; they matter.
I am afraid that by speaking of this, I will reduce its worth, or its meaning, like so many other things I have read on facebook, on blogs and other websites.
While I see the irony in what I am doing, I’d like to think that the fact that I took 1 week to carefully think and write about this makes it evident that words, to me, carry a whole lot of weight. And believe me when I say that this weight can never be measured by any means invented, nor should it.
I lost something very dear to me recently. And the pain it caused me is so much more than I could have ever imagined. Why people, why I, put myself in a position where we know we will hurt in the end is not something that can be explained. But it is something you and you and you who have ever loved would understand.
I still cannot bring myself to speak of him without tearing up. And the black hole in me, that deep, deep sadness that I feel now that he is gone will never disappear, no matter how many questions I ask.
To the rest of the world, he is a fury ferocious rabbit. But to me, he was what I built the last 10 years of my life upon. And no matter how much I know it is impossible, I want him back. I want him back so badly, I feel like he will simply appear in front of me one day when the time comes.
But before that, there are still things to do, people to care for and love to share. You have made my life so much richer and so much emptier at the same time. I guess it’s just a juxtaposition I’m going to have to live with until I see you again.