Rainbow Wings On My Balcony

Little rainbow wings

Little rainbow wings

Went out to water the plants for my dad today and saw this little rainbow wings taking a rest on a leaf. I am terrified of insects, but some of them are fascinating. That doesn’t mean I will invite them in and have a cup of tea with them.

Would love to share with you what I’ve been up to all day. But other than the usual – eating pancakes, watching TV, being told that I put on weight – there really isn’t much interesting things to share.

People like to tell me things they find are crucial to point out, even though I most likely already know them. I don’t like to give them the satisfaction of having that conversation. (You’d think that’d be motivation enough for me to exercise and watch my diet. Mostly I just curl up in bed and cry like a spoilt child.)

So I ignore them by adding them to my “you are dead to me” list.

Ok, so that isn’t very healthy. Maybe I will actually drag myself to go for a jog tomorrow. I should really get over my social phobia.

Embroidering My Dreams

I have a confession to make.

It’s not something big like being an alcoholic or sneaky like secretly getting a tattoo behind my laogong’s back.

The truth is I am very insecure about the way I look. Increasingly so, actually, now that I have been hearing more comments about how ‘aunty’ I look and how my pimples are getting worse.

It is not something I take lightly and believe me when I say that confessing this makes me feel very vulnerable. This is perhaps the reason  I shy away from certain people, clothes and activities.

But I feel it is important to say this. Because many a times, people say things thinking that they mean no harm. Truth is, sometimes, these comments can come across as callous, even if you didn’t mean for it to be.

I admit that I may sound overly sensitive. I know some things people tell me are just facts, or passing remarks, or jokes. Jokes I can take. But if it is a simple remark, please keep it to yourself. Trust me, we already know we have put on a bit, that our face is breaking out in acne, and that are our eyes are slightly too far apart. Or something like that.

We have to face it on a daily basis, and having someone remind us of it again just makes me want to go on a one-man mission to destroying all the mirrors in the world. Because apparently, we don’t already have it shoved in our faces that we need someone to rub salt on the wounds.

I guess I am not that strong yet to be able to laugh it off. Just the other day when someone remarked on my acne, I pretended that the pot on the stove was boiling so that I could run away from the awkward conversation and hide in the kitchen. Honestly, I just did not know how to respond. How do you expect me to respond?

So the next time you decide to point out something obvious to us, just remember: it is not “tell me something I already know” day.

At this point of time, I want to tell my laogong “I love you” for reminding me everyday that I am beautiful in your eyes. I honestly don’t think I’ll be the person I am today if not for you. And for that I am grateful.

On a happier note, here’s what I’ve been busying my fingers with.

My Imaginary Flying FIsh

My Imaginary Flying Fish

I’ve always had dreams of the ocean, perhaps because I’m fascinated by it. Nothing I can find online about marine life ever reflects what I see. But the flying fish comes close, if only a little. I added different colours to it, like how I see it in my mind when I close my eyes. And the intricate stitches bring out the subtleties of the fish’s scales and fins and design.

I know it is not biologically accurate. I hope to get away with it as a form of art. I am embroidering my dreams, after all.

My Night’s Companion

Apart from being called an auntie, there isn’t much things to complain about. (There’s another testimony to attest to my lack of fashion sense.)

This weekend was another weekend to catch up with friends and contemplate on relationships formed in my life.

Somehow, catching up with friends always equate to sugary delights that leave me with a sense of guilt and pleasure. Although, I seem to be the only one becoming progressively bad looking, while my friends seem healthier and slimmer. This is of course no fault of mine but the absolute fault of the Phish Food ice cream and tasty Korean potato chips Laogong have been feeding me the past 2 weeks.

Oh, and the swimming pool being under repair.

The Durian

The Durian

In the city world I live in, it is sometimes easy to get our priorities wrong. Sometimes life happens and we forget the important things we should keep close to our hearts, making us sacrifice time and people we shouldn’t sacrifice.

Sometimes, we forget that the best thing we can do is to simply be a presence in one’s life.

When did just being around lose its importance? When did just being around become so hard?

Little Ollie

Little Ollie

In case you’re wondering, Ollie is the name of Ricky Gervais’s cat. The one in the picture above is obviously not his cat. But someone left some food for this stray by the steps where I was waiting for the bus tonight. In less than  minute she finished her food and proceeded to show me her adorable back silhouette.

Something about a cat being fed by a stranger that changes the mood of that night for me.

The New, The Old And The Ignorant

The past week was eventful.

Sometimes I forget that my blog can connect me to people I wish were not connected to my blog and I almost spilled the beans on why the past week was eventful. Anyhow, I learned from these events that sometimes, the world’s greatest battle is not poverty, or global warming, or pollution. It is our inexplicable inability to empathize.

We see it everyday on the bus, in the train, in the long bubble tea queue.

Someone thinks that in this cosmic universe, the world owes them a little more and so decides to let the rest of us pay for it. Yes. The ripples of selfishness know no end. I don’t know which is worse – that some are oblivious to their lack of empathy or that some continue to behave in a certain way inspite of being well aware of the selfish implications of their actions.

Either way, it is enough to deter me from leaving the house.

Before I become an agoraphobic, here are some other eventful things that happened the past week.

Colours Of The Strings

Colours Of The Strings

Dad’s old friend closed down her craft shop and left mom with lace, ribbons and embroidery threads. Mom gave them to me and now I have 100 more colours to play with. While I enjoy the occasional challenges of limitations, these new threads are so much fun, I almost peed in my pants when mom gave them to me!

Where's Number 1?

Where’s Number 1?

I got a really early birthday present from Laogong this weekend – my very own typewriter. No more backspacing to erase words, no more copy and past, no more troubles with auto correct and realignment! I always hated it when Words don’t allow me to align my cursor where I want it to be. Thank you Tappy Typewriter!

I’ll be off to shopoutoftheshell.wordpress.com to update this season’s new items, but I’ve also been busy with the year end’s season’s items.

Fishin' Dreamin'

Fishin’ Dreamin’

Don’t forget to pop over to shopoutoftheshell!

I’d better go do the laundry. Thankfully, this agoraphobic has both washer and dryer at home.