It has been almost a month since we got ourselves a puppy and I am all tired out.
Overly paranoid that he will hurt himself, even though time and again he has proven my worries unnecessary, I rush back from appointments, work and meet ups. In my mind, many worst-case scenarios flash by – what if he tries to climb out of his crib and falls and gets pinned, what if he poops and dirties himself, what if he is frightened all alone.
I always come home to see him in mint condition, having slept peacefully, tail wagging waiting for a cuddly welcome.
Amidst the multiple vet trips (for his cough and diarrhea) and the nightmare of bathing and drying him down, his blue/brown eyes and soft paws can’t keep me angry for long. He will crawl to hide under my mini TV stand and pop his head out from under, ears standing up right, listening to me laughing at how adorably silly he looks.
That doesn’t mean I am not tired out at night and dread waking up in the morning for his breakfast. Sometimes, I think I’m a little unfair to Laogong, making him wake up instead of me. But if he is upset about it, I wouldn’t know – he does it without complains.
Disciplining him is as much fun as it is a chore. While I want to pamper him and smother him with affection (it is sometimes hard to remember he is a puppy, not a baby), I learn that it is better to be harsh now and have a well behaved dog later than to suffer from my leniency. After all, no one likes a dog who isn’t friendly.
I still keep Nili’s picture on my phone and desktop as my wall paper. His picture is still framed up in my room and on my table at work. And while he was no dog, he taught me many things about taking care of little Ponton.
Sometimes it gets a little hard, I still cannot bring myself to change my wallpapers on my electronics. And I know my parents feel the same way. But we all know that Little P will not take Nili’s place. There is room enough in our hearts to love them both.
This predecessor will not be forgotton.